Lawyerist.com, "The lawyering survival guide," announced that it has purchased Bitter Lawyer from owner Rick Eid, writer and producer for Law and Order and Dark Blue.
For a time Bitter Lawyer boasted a diverse and colorful cast of characters, such as Bitter Paralegal and LF10. But, after the departure of editor Mark Thudium, the site fell into a steady decline.
Eventually, most of the new content was coming from only one source, our Editor in Chief BL1Y. And, as our readers are well aware, his writing alone isn't enough to keep a site afloat.
We hope the new owners will have better luck and restore what used to be a really great way to waste time at the office.
The Illinois House has passed a ban on trans fats and the bill is headed to the state Senate.
If passed, restaurants, vending machines, and other food vendors would be prohibited from selling foods that contain trans fat as of January 1, 2013. There is an exemption for foods that naturally contain trans fat, such as milk and pomegranates, as well as for bakeries, which are heavy users of the heart-stopping oils.
Surprisingly (to everyone living outside of Illinois, but almost expected for people within the state) school cafeterias will be exempt from the ban. That's right, schools. In a state where schools can force students to eat cafeteria food and ban homemade lunches, there is an exemption allowing them to pump that state-mandated food with one of the most unhealthy substances known to man.
This is the fifth year such legislation has been put on the table. This time it died in committee in a 3-5-1 vote.
Proponents of the legislation claimed that it would generate 3,500 jobs and between $19 and $38 million in revenues for the state from taxes. Opponents argued that there would be little or no increase in tax revenue, as people are simply changing the location where they buy wine. Opponents further refuted the claims about job creation, saying that jobs would be lost as liquor stores were unable to compete, and that grocery stores wouldn't need to hire extra employees just to stock wine on the shelves.
The opponents of the bill are probably right about the economic impact, but when did Tennessee become a planned economy anyways?
With Nixon Peabody's salary "disappointments" in the news, of course everyone in the legal blogosphere is dusting off their Everyone's a Winner LPs. After Nixon Peabody's anthem got released, of course the firm tried to get the shit back in the horse, and because YouTube complies with most requests to pull things for copyright reasons, they got most of the mess cleaned up. But, not all of it, and even a little horse shit is too much horse shit.
The fine folks over at Legal Blog Watch have also managed to dig up two other amazingly bad company songs, and as you watch them, keep in mind that there is almost certainly a marketing consultant behind them. So, you know, remember this the next time someone tells you that the next big way to attract clients is to water their cops in Farmville.
First, here's a gem from Earnst and Young that makes Rebecca Black look like the Rolling Stones.
It gets even more... something, with this song from Bank of America about a merger with MBNA. To be fair, the guy does a pretty decent job with the singing. Maybe even good enough to get laid that night.
Our next item isn't a corporate anthem really, and we unfortunately don't have a recording of anyone singing it, but if you want to know what big banking executives were spending their time reading as the financial markets crumbled, it was writing and circulating this:
Is this the real price? Is this just fantasy? Financial landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes And look at your buys and see. I'm now a poor boy High-yielding casualty Because I bought it high, watched it blow Rating high, value low Any way the Fed goes Doesn't really matter to me, to me Mama - just killed my fund Quoted CDO's instead Pulled the trigger, now it's dead Mama - I had just begun These CDO's have blown it all away Mama - oooh I still wanna buy I sometimes wish I'd never left Goldman at all. I see a little silhouette of a Fed Bernanke! Bernanke! Can you save the whole market? Monolines and munis - very very frightening me! Super senior, super senior Super senior CDO - magnifico o o o o I'm long of subprime, nobody loves me He's long of subprime CDO fantasy Spare the margin call you monstrous PB! Easy come easy go, will you let me go? Peloton! No - we will not let you go - let him go Peloton! We will not let you go - let him go Peloton! We will not let you go - let me go Will not let you go - let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go – ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no, - Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go S&P had the devil put aside for me For me, for me, for me So you think you can fund me and spit in my eye? And then margin call me and leave me to die Oh PB - can't do this to me PB Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here Ooh yeah, ooh yeah No price really matters No liquidity Nothing really matters – no price really matters to me Any way the Fed goes.....
And lastly, for those of you who want to burn another .07 billable hours, here's a song we'd like to dedicate to Latham:
