Constitutional Daily

Founding Principles

The Tenure Paradox - Robot pimp

Slap on the Wrist for "Non-Consensual Sex" - Lampshade, Esq.

Intelligence: The Gathering - Graphic and Gratuitous

Grads are the New Illegals - Robot Pimp

Meet Entitlement Eric - Robot Pimp

Wherein I Solve World Peace - Lampshade, Esq.

A Necessary Delusion - Shadow Hand

Do you even need to shave overhead? - Lawyerlite

LSAT Jenga - Publius Picasso

http://www.constitutionaldaily.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1573:legal-reasoning-redux-5&catid=38:there-and-never-back-again&Itemid=65

Time, Place, and Manner

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Out of the Can, and Into the Can

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Sullivan County man Keith Gruber has developed an entirely innovative trial strategy for defending a felony DWI charge:

He showed up to court an hour and a half late, drunk, with an open can of Busch beer in his hand and another four in his bag.

We said innovative, not effective.  No word on whether he was planning to offer the "if I was so drunk, then explain how I've got so much beer left" defense.

The judge asked him if he enjoyed his liquid lunch, and then sent him to jail without bail.  Gruber was previous out on bail from a previous DWI charge

[NBC]

I Didn't Know They Stacked Lawyers That High

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In his new article, Shadow Hand discusses that kid we were all afraid of in law school, the one who reads a month ahead and seems to have every footnote memorized.  ...That kid's going to make a lovely corpse one day.

Read Shadow's new article here: I Didn't Know They Stacked Lawyers That High

MTA Considers Banning Food on Trains

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It's already the law in several cities, and now New York City's MTA is considering banning food on trains following an altercation between passengers over the appropriateness of eating what appears to be lo mein (Village Voice reports spaghetti).

The video of the incident isn't the greatest public transportation fight we've seen, but it does contain a line that sounds like it could have come right out of the mouth of Dr. Gonzo:

"[As your attorney] I advise you not to throw that at me."

[NBC via Village Voice]

Steve Jobs Ordered to 2 Hours of Deposition

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Judge Howard Lloyd of U.S. District Court for Northern California has ordered Steve Jobs to answer questions at a deposition for two hours.  Jobs is currently away from work on sick leave.

Apple is defending a class action lawsuit that claims it established a monopoly on the music downloading industry by not allowing non-iTunes files to be played on the iPod.  At issue is the FairPlay digital rights management software.  Originally, iPods would only play files that were encoded with Apple magic pixie dust.  But, a couple years after iTunes was introduced, RealPlayer introduced a program that would sprinkle a little imitation pixie dust on your files and let you put them on your iPod. But, the evil Apple overlords disabled the RealPlayer fix and RealPlayer abandoned its efforts out of fear of a law suit by Apple.

In granting the plaintiffs' request for a deposition, the court found that "Jobs has unique, non-repetitive, first hand knowledge about Apple’s software updates in October 2004 that rendered the RealNetworks’s digital music files once again inoperable with iPods."

Really, judge?  No one else at Apple knew the details of the software updates?  Was Steve Jobs writing the code himself?  I know every time I get pancreatic cancer I run off to write some iTunes code.  Surely there is someone else at Apple who can be deposed that doesn't have so many medical issues that Dr. House would jump at the chance to find the cause.

A note to the plaintiff's counsel: Do not ask if Apple uses a copy machine.

[AP via Chicago Breaking Business]

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