Constitutional Daily

Founding Principles

The Tenure Paradox - Robot pimp

Slap on the Wrist for "Non-Consensual Sex" - Lampshade, Esq.

Intelligence: The Gathering - Graphic and Gratuitous

Grads are the New Illegals - Robot Pimp

Meet Entitlement Eric - Robot Pimp

Wherein I Solve World Peace - Lampshade, Esq.

A Necessary Delusion - Shadow Hand

Do you even need to shave overhead? - Lawyerlite

LSAT Jenga - Publius Picasso

Time, Place, and Manner

...Should have some links here or something.


Woman Comes to Court with Monkey in Bra

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A woman, who has not been identified, entered an Amherst County, VA courthouse, with an unusual accessory.

While filling out routine paperwork, she made reference to her daughter.  When the clerk asked where the daughter was, the woman produced a tiny monkey from her bra, dressed in a small diaper and white dress.

The monkey, er, "daughter," was named Kara, and the woman didn't think it proper to leave her at home by herself.

When security personnel were asked how the monkey had gotten through, they gave what sounds to us like a reasonable answer:

"It wasn't armed."


Howrey Dissolves, What About the Associates?

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Howrey announces its dissolution, employees are given their WARN Act notice.  What happens next?

Read our thoughts on the matter here: Howrey Dissolves, What About the Associates?

Iowan Anti-Gay Marriage Rally to Feature Ex-AL Chief Judge Roy Moore

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A rally is scheduled in Des Moines on Tuesday in support of amending the state Constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman.

Headlining the event will be ousted Alabama Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore, famous for the Ten Commandments monument he placed in the Alabama Supreme Court lobby.  He was ousted by unanimous vote of the court of the judiciary when he refused to follow a federal court order that the monument be removed.  Moore has since run for governor of Alabama, but failed to secure the Republican party's nomination.

Sorry that you have to put up with our rejects, Iowa.

The resolution that would put the issue of defining marriage before the voters has passed the Republican-controlled Iowa House, but is stalled in the Democrat-controlled Senate, where Senate Majority Leader Gronstal has prevented it from reaching the floor.

The rally is scheduled for 11:30 am, Tuesday the 15th at the capitol in Des Moines.

[Des Moines Register]

Groupoff: Class Action Suit Filed Over Groupon Expiration Dates

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Groupon, the smash-hit crowd sourced bulk discount provider, has been slapped with a class action law suit over the company's short expiration dates.

If you're unfamiliar, here's how Groupon works: A company says they are willing to offer a big discount on a product or service, but only if a certain number of people commit to buying it.  Sally's Hair Salon will offer 50% off on hair cuts, but only if they can sell 20 hair cuts tomorrow.  Unlike Sam's Club, Costco, and other bulk discount providers that can sell bulk items to individuals, no one is going to pay for 20 hair cuts in one day, even with the discount.

So, Groupon gathers 20 different people together, and once they have all committed, they get the coupon.  It would be like wanting the bulk discount on buying 400 rolls of toilet paper at Costco, but you don't really need that much, so you get 9 other guys from the same floor of your dorm to chip in, and you each take home 40 rolls, the amount you wanted.

The issue at the heart of the law suit is that with Groupon, you and your friends don't all show up at once.  Instead, you pay for a coupon that you can then redeem at the store.  The coupons generally have a short expiration date, typically 24 hours.  This runs afoul of federal laws, and the laws of Illinois, where the suit was filed.

Coupons are legally required to expire in no less than five years.

A longer expiration period means that more coupons will be redeemed, hurting the business model.  Businesses know that for a lot of people, something will come up at the last minute, or they'll change their mind, and end up not using the coupon.  They've already paid for it, and then it expires.  Groupon doesn't make any extra money, all that happens is the businesses save the expense of fulfilling the coupon, though Groupon does benefit from more vendors wanting to participate.

We propose a simple solution, not at all backed up by any sort of research into the relevant laws.

Instead of offering "50% off all hair cuts at Sally's Hair Salon, tomorrow only!" offer this:

"50% off all hair cuts at Sally's Hair Salon tomorrow, 5% off after that! (Expires in 5 years.)"

[Westlaw Insider]

Page 317 of 342

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