Is your daddy a thief?
Does he beat your mom? Drive drunk? I handle a wide range of criminal matters.
Did you wash your pants in Windex?
Windex has been linked to damage in denim, wool, and cotton fabrics. The law limits the amount of time you have to file your claim.
Are you Jamaican?
Because I have an immigration lawyer I can refer you to.
If I could rearrange the alphabet…
I would put Z between F and H, so it’s more like the original Latin ordering.
Your legs must be tired…
Mine aren’t though, because I sit at a desk all day, and then when I go home I sit on a couch until it’s time to go to sleep.
I lost my phone number…
Good thing I have business cards.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body…
Could I induce you into acting in reliance on this misstatement of material fact?
Do you want to get breakfast tomorrow?
Yeah, I never have time for breakfast either.
I’m going to name this leg Thanksgiving, and this leg Christmas.
I have a lot of hours left to bill if I’m going to have a shot at a bonus this year, so it’s unlikely I’ll get to see you between the holidays.
Do you know the difference between a burger and a blowjob?
A blowjob was never Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.