[This is an update to the Black Label Law Dictionary. You can read the full version here.]

Assumed name. (1) An alias. (2) The name under which a business operates or by which it is commonly know. (3) When you call the help “Pedro” or “Maria” because you can’t be bothered to ask.

Badger game. See Deed.

Consequential damages. Losses that do not flow directly and immediately from an injurious act.

Design defect. Counterargument to the theory of intelligent design. For instance, when a male bumblebee mates with the queen, its penis snaps off inside her. That look like the mark of an intelligent creator to you?

Dictum. Hehehe.

Diminished capacity. Wake and bake. Three martini lunch. Whatever gets you through your shit job for one more day.

Equal protection. Use of both male and female condoms.

Exclusionary rule. No, it’s not okay if your husband watches.

False imprisonment. Sounds like you weren’t actually imprisoned, so what are you complaining about?

Greenmail. The intended result of Blackmail.

Headnote. Aromatics released by the foam of a beer.

Inconsequential damages. Losses that flow directly and immediately from an injurious act.

Moral turpitude. Conduct that is contrary to prevailing notions of justice and honesty, but which is consistent with broader moral principles. See also: Chaotic good alignment.

Parenticide. The act of murdering one’s parent; considered one of the quickest ways of paying off law school debt.

Shell corporation. A corporation that has no active business and usually exists only in name as a vehicle for another company’s business. What Royal Dutch Shell is a front for remains a mystery.

Vicarious liability. Liability that one party bears for the actionable conduct of another party, which is total bullshit and completely defeats the purpose of living vicariously through another person.