Constitutional Daily

Founding Principles

The Tenure Paradox - Robot pimp

Slap on the Wrist for "Non-Consensual Sex" - Lampshade, Esq.

Intelligence: The Gathering - Graphic and Gratuitous

Grads are the New Illegals - Robot Pimp

Meet Entitlement Eric - Robot Pimp

Wherein I Solve World Peace - Lampshade, Esq.

A Necessary Delusion - Shadow Hand

Do you even need to shave overhead? - Lawyerlite

LSAT Jenga - Publius Picasso

Time, Place, and Manner

...Should have some links here or something.


More Black Label Law Dictionary

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[This is an update to the Black Label Law Dictionary. You can read the full version here.]

Assignable. Capable of being assigned; transferable from one person to another. Not to be confused with Assignoble, a person who is particularly base and of low birth.

Bar examination. (1) A bi-annual rite of passage for lawyers seeking admission to practice law in a given jurisdiction administered by the supreme court of said jurisdiction. (2) An enhanced interrogation method favored by the Bush Administration prior to utilizing waterboarding. (3) The douchy practice to trying to stump the bar tender by ordering unusual drinks, especially obnoxious during happy hour.

Battle of the Forms. A conflict between the terms of standard forms exchanged between a buyer and the seller during contract negotiations. The battle ended with UCC §2-207 feigning a retreat from its position in the Mirror Image Heights, pulling the Original Offer out of its fortified position and allowing hidden Gap Filler light infantry to ambush the Original Offer and destroy its terms.

Constitution. A set of supreme laws for an organization or governmental entity. Whether a Constitution is a living entity is of heated debate, as it possesses 4 of the 7 classic criteria for life, Homeostasis, Organization, Growth, and Adaptation, but not Metabolism, Response to Stimuli, or Reproduction (though is further debate over whether the American Constitution has spawned offspring in other nations).

Death and taxes. A phrase used by the middle and lower classes to refer to the only two certainties in life. Among the upper-class the phrase is shortened to merely “Death.”

Deposition. (1) A witness’s out of court testimony that is reduced to writing for later use in court or for discovery purposes. (2) The session at which such testimony to recorded. (3) The point in a case in which an attorney discovers he is going to get spanked at trial by opposing counsel. <Assume deposition.>

Interrogatory. A written question (usually with multiple subparts) submitted to an opposing part in a lawsuit on the off chance that the opposing party will accidentally admit fault. Though an accidental admission rarely occurs, interrogatories persist as standard practice, largely as a way to increase hours billed to a client. Sometimes used as a means to harass opposing counsel, though use in this manner forgets that opposing counsel is also racking up billable hours.

Iob. Legal Latin term referring to paid employment, especially in the field of archaeology.

Lease. (1) To grant the possession and use of to another in return for rent or other consideration.  (2) The exact opposite.

Many. (1) A relatively large quantity, though not necessarily a majority. (2) On the LSAT a term indistinguishable from “few” or “most.” (3) At Rutgers-Camden, a term indistinguishable from “none” or “almost none.”

Opportunity. English transliteration of the Chinese “危機” meaning “crisis.”

Perfect-tender rule. A failed defense theory argued by Jerry Sandusky’s attorneys.

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