The debate is on tonight at ...sometime (check your local listings). Odds are if you're going to make it through 90-120 minutes (we really don't know) of softball questions, evasive answers, political pandering, and offers to manually stimulate "real Americans" in exchange for votes, you're going to need a drink or two. So, here's the official Constitutional Daily First Debate Drinking Game.
Middle Class Families
*We killed off about 30% of our readership during the last State of the Union by having people drink on “Jobs,” so the rule for the debate is you only have to drink again if speakers have changed. For example:
Romney: We need more jobs!
Obama: Now, now hold one mome—
Romney: I said jobs again! Drink, bitch!
Affordable Care Act
Are you better off than you were 4 years ago?
Romney tells a joke that falls flat
Arithmetic/Do the Math
Level Playing Field
The nation is better off that it was 4 years ago.
Finish your drink
Romney shows sincere emotion
Either candidate says that the other guy is correct
Camera shows guy in audience with “Ron Paul 2012” sign
Camera shows Dennis Kucinich’s hot wife
Pop a bottle of bubbly
Either candidate acknowledges that they both plan to reduce Medicare spending growth rate and criticize the other for planning to reduce the Medicare spending growth rate.