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A Necessary Delusion - Shadow Hand

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http://www.constitutionaldaily.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1573:legal-reasoning-redux-5&catid=38:there-and-never-back-again&Itemid=65

Time, Place, and Manner

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About to be Injured?

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About to be injured? Let me help.

If you are reading this, you are about to unknowingly be injured. And then you are going to try and sue someone. Because that’s the American way. I want to help you out and give you a few pointers on how best to help your case, find a willing attorney and maximize the potential recovery (for your attorney).

For the disclaimer: Under no circumstances, should you attempt to commit insurance fraud. If you are attempting to commit insurance fraud, don’t tell your attorney (he’ll discover it on his own after spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours).

Now for what you should do when you get hurt. Unintentionally of course:

DO get injured by someone with insurance.

It’s a simple idea. You might not have thought about it. Someone has to pay and pay quickly for your injuries. Lawyers like me won’t sue someone without insurance unless they are incredibly wealthy, incredibly good looking or I am just bored & looking to start some shit with a random joe.

DO NOT get injured by someone with statutory immunity.

In the State of Illinois, our elected leaders (in between their selling things they can’t, pardoning people they shouldn’t, or just effing up our criminal justice system) have seen fit to grant immunity from negligence claims to a select group of municipal organizations. You may have the greatest case in the world and be barred from collecting anything more than my sympathy. Please do not blame me for this.

DO fill out a police report, accident report or file a claim with the responsible party.

This shows me and everybody else that what happened to you was serious. And that you thought it was serious at the time that it happened. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, take an ambulance to the hospital, get two MRIs, an EMG and at least three cups of substandard hospital jello.

DO NOT wait for any period longer than 3 hours to seek medical attention after you accident.

Preferably, you get injured in a hospital and are immediately treated. I recognize that not all injuries are life threatening and so I can give you a little buffer time to get checked out. But that buffer expires after 180 minutes because according to every insurance company, after that time, you just aren’t hurt. So don’t man up and tough it out. Be a pansy, get treated. Get a lot of treated.

DO go to the doctor.

This will allow us to know what is wrong with you, it will allow us to put a value on your case and it will give us the necessary ammunition to fight the insurance company of the responsible party. If you continue to go the doctor, you may even get better. Which may be a bonus (after we settle the case of course…can’t have you devalue your case now, can we?)

DO NOT go to the Chiropractor.

I cannot stress this point strongly enough: DO NOT GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. Lawyers, those who give up their souls and go to school for three years are doctors. We lawyers have the common decency not to call ourselves doctors because that would imply something that would likely mislead the general public as to our skill set. Chiropractors do not have this decency. They are, for whatever reason, allowed to call themselves doctors. And do. In addition to their attempts to mislead what their qualifications are, they will overcharge, over-treat and ignore all underlying symptoms as to why you sought their care in the first place. They are the medical equivalent of a leech and all defense attorneys view them as red flags of people trying to fake injuries.

Under no circumstances…

Do you call an attorney from the scene of the accident.

I hope this guide has been helpful as you unwittingly approach a potentially life changing event. My ambulance chasing brethren and I look forward to helping you out in your time of need. Well, maybe I am not looking forward to helping you out, I’m just in it for my contingency fee.

[Read more from The Namby Pamby]

About to be injured? Let me help.

 

If you are reading this, you are about to unknowingly be injured. And then you are going to try and sue someone. Because that’s the American way. I want to help you out and give you a few pointers on how best to help your case, find a willing attorney and maximize the potential recovery (for your attorney).

 

For the disclaimer: Under no circumstances, should you attempt to commit insurance fraud. If you are attempting to commit insurance fraud, don’t tell your attorney (he’ll discover it on his own after spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours).

 

Now for what you should do when you get hurt. Unintentionally of course:

 

DO get injured by someone with insurance.

 

It’s a simple idea. You might not have thought about it. Someone has to pay and pay quickly for your injuries. Lawyers like me won’t sue someone without insurance unless they are incredibly wealthy, incredibly good looking or I am just bored & looking to start some shit with a random joe.

 

DO NOT get injured by someone with statutory immunity.

 

In the State of Illinois, our elected leaders (in between their selling things they can’t, pardoning people they shouldn’t or just effing up our criminal justice system) have seen fit to grant immunity from negligence claims to a select group of municipal organizations. You may have the greatest case in the world and be barred from collecting anything more than my sympathy. Please do not blame me for this.

 

DO fill out a police report, accident report or file a claim with the responsible party.

 

This shows me and everybody else that what happened to you was serious. And that you thought it was serious at the time that it happened. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, take an ambulance to the hospital, get a two MRIs, an EMG and at least three cups of substandard hospital jello.

 

DO NOT wait for any period longer than 3 hours to seek medical attention after you accident

 

Preferably, you get injured in a hospital and are immediately treated. I recognize that not all injuries are life threatening and so I can give you a little buffer time to get checked out. But that buffer expires after 180 minutes because according to every insurance company, after that time, you just aren’t hurt. So don’t man up and tough it out. Be a pansy, get treated. Get a lot of treated.

 

DO go to the doctor.

 

This will allow us to know what is wrong with you, it will allow us to put a value on your case and it will give us the necessary ammunition to fight the insurance company of the responsible party. If you continue to go the doctor, you may even get better. Which may be a bonus (after we settle the case of course…can’t have you devalue your case now, can we?)

 

DO NOT go to the Chiropractor.

 

I cannot stress this point strongly enough: DO NOT GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. Lawyers, those who give up their souls and go to school for three years are doctors. We lawyers have the common decency not to call ourselves doctors because that would imply something that would likely mislead the general public as to our skill set. Chiropractors do not have this decency. They are, for whatever reason, allowed to call themselves doctors. And do. In addition to their attempts to mislead what their qualifications are, they will overc

About to be injured? Let me help.

 

If you are reading this, you are about to unknowingly be injured. And then you are going to try and sue someone. Because that’s the American way. I want to help you out and give you a few pointers on how best to help your case, find a willing attorney and maximize the potential recovery (for your attorney).

 

For the disclaimer: Under no circumstances, should you attempt to commit insurance fraud. If you are attempting to commit insurance fraud, don’t tell your attorney (he’ll discover it on his own after spending thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours).

 

Now for what you should do when you get hurt. Unintentionally of course:

 

DO get injured by someone with insurance.

 

It’s a simple idea. You might not have thought about it. Someone has to pay and pay quickly for your injuries. Lawyers like me won’t sue someone without insurance unless they are incredibly wealthy, incredibly good looking or I am just bored & looking to start some shit with a random joe.

 

DO NOT get injured by someone with statutory immunity.

 

In the State of Illinois, our elected leaders (in between their selling things they can’t, pardoning people they shouldn’t or just effing up our criminal justice system) have seen fit to grant immunity from negligence claims to a select group of municipal organizations. You may have the greatest case in the world and be barred from collecting anything more than my sympathy. Please do not blame me for this.

 

DO fill out a police report, accident report or file a claim with the responsible party.

 

This shows me and everybody else that what happened to you was serious. And that you thought it was serious at the time that it happened. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble, take an ambulance to the hospital, get a two MRIs, an EMG and at least three cups of substandard hospital jello.

 

DO NOT wait for any period longer than 3 hours to seek medical attention after you accident

 

Preferably, you get injured in a hospital and are immediately treated. I recognize that not all injuries are life threatening and so I can give you a little buffer time to get checked out. But that buffer expires after 180 minutes because according to every insurance company, after that time, you just aren’t hurt. So don’t man up and tough it out. Be a pansy, get treated. Get a lot of treated.

 

DO go to the doctor.

 

This will allow us to know what is wrong with you, it will allow us to put a value on your case and it will give us the necessary ammunition to fight the insurance company of the responsible party. If you continue to go the doctor, you may even get better. Which may be a bonus (after we settle the case of course…can’t have you devalue your case now, can we?)

 

DO NOT go to the Chiropractor.

 

I cannot stress this point strongly enough: DO NOT GO TO THE CHIROPRACTOR. Lawyers, those who give up their souls and go to school for three years are doctors. We lawyers have the common decency not to call ourselves doctors because that would imply something that would likely mislead the general public as to our skill set. Chiropractors do not have this decency. They are, for whatever reason, allowed to call themselves doctors. And do. In addition to their attempts to mislead what their qualifications are, they will overcharge, over-treat and ignore all underlying symptoms as to why you sought their care in the first place. They are the medical equivalent of a leech and all defense attorneys view them as red flags to people trying to fake injuries.

 

Under no circumstances…

 

Do you call an attorney from the scene of the accident.

 

I hope this guide has been helpful as you unwittingly approach a potentially life changing event. My ambulance chasing brethren and I look forward to helping you out in your time of need. Well, maybe I am not looking forward to helping you out, I’m just in it for my contingency fee.

 

harge, over-treat and ignore all underlying symptoms as to why you sought their care in the first place. They are the medical equivalent of a leech and all defense attorneys view them as red flags to people trying to fake injuries.

 

Under no circumstances

 

Do you call an attorney from the scene of the accident.

 

I hope this guide has been helpful as you unwittingly approach a potentially life changing event. My ambulance chasing brethren and I look forward to helping you out in your time of need. Well, maybe I am not looking forward to helping you out, I’m just in it for my contingency fee.


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